The Daily Struggle When You Have No Official Diagnosis For Mental Illness

It’s pointless visiting my doctor to talk about my mental health problems, because I’m just one of hundreds of clients that he has. Since I lost my job in 2016 due to deteriorating mental health problems, I’ve gradually worsened to the point where it is lucky if I have one or two days in a row when I’m feeling actually okay to go about life. Tearful episodes can last for hours, or the depression can go up and down for days before there is a breakthrough. I have no proper diagnosis.

When I visited him several months ago to tell him that I think I have borderline personality disorder, he disagreed and said he would never classify me with something like that, but most of my symptoms did match up with what I read on borderline personality disorder. I constantly run away, I socially exclude myself, I’m paranoid lots, haven’t many friends, and I self harm daily through dermatillomania. Tried drugs but I slept for most of the day, and that doesn’t help to life the spirits with depression.

Guess I just have to take each day as it comes, but I applaud everyone with mental health problems who can make it through the day. The Daily Oscar goes to you.

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